Wednesday July 15

I am constantly amazed at this life I am living. I cannot believe the things I do these days.

Today I got a new phone so that I will be attached to the real world, but at the same time I was admitting that I need that phone and that connection, and that I have left my world.

Today I spent time at a nursing home talking to the various people in charge, and at the same time I was admitting that I am now the responsible elder in my family, and that my mother is going to need help that I can’t give.

Today I drove many many miles because that is the only way that you can get things done around here and while I drove I was listening to the local station. During the drive I heard “(my gal is ) rocking the beer gut” three times. I don’t’ know what is going to happen to my brain, but at the same time, if I listen to the lyrics of the music that Mission kids listen to, I am left with the same sense of dismay.

Today I was reminded why Ryan always went back to California saying that Oklahoma was better. When the need to protect yourself from a crush of people is replaced by a need to connect to people, everyone is nicer. These people just do nice things.

And today, while I was talking to the ladies at the telephone office, I heard myself replicating their accents.