Friday, August 28, 2009


Thursday, August 27

Here I sit on the porch, surrounded by cats, looking at Texas, with no sound but the wind in the trees and various bird and insect song. It is so peaceful that I can hardly believe that school is starting and all my kids and all my friends are about to face the new year. This is such an exciting time, and scary. What are classes going to be like? Am I going to do a better job this year? Who is going to suddenly become my friend or my enemy? And instead I am wondering what is my year going to be like without all that excitement.

Days here are all melting into one long undivided time. There is dark and there is light. Sometimes we sleep, sometimes we don’t. But it all runs together. I worried so much about being bored at the farm and now it is where I go to find myself. I love the people at the hospital. They are all so nice and helpful (well most) and friendly. The kitchen staff, the cleaning staff, even the maintenance guys all know me and stop to chat. But I miss friends and family.

The weather has taken a change for the different. Cloudy, possible storms, but only 83 while I crossed the pasture and I am happy on the porch in my jammies while the laundry whirs away inside.

Mom? She is tired. PT guys and I were discussing it when the doctor arrived. We all agreed that when she isn’t tired she makes terrific progress, but when she won’t wake up, nothing gets done. There was great effort to slow her heart down from the 120 beats per minute that she had in Wichita, and hunky doc succeeded. But now perhaps it is a little slow. Meds are changing, PT is ignoring her today and she is sleeping. I need to do that too. The cleaning ladies told me this morning that I should take a nap today, and when they saw me this afternoon, they said I obviously hadn’t, because apparently I looked like hell.

Question? In what world does waking someone up every two hours make them get better? The 6 a.m. routine goes like this. Vampire visits and draws blood. Turns out light as she/he leaves. Aides come in and put her in a hoist to weigh her, put her back in bed and snug her in and turn out lights. Aides come back and empty trash, check fluid input/output, take vitals, snug her in and turn out lights. (Shift change) New nurse comes in and checks her heart and lungs and asks questions (are you feeling any pain? No! she is freaking sleeping! ) New aides come in and check on her, introduce themselves, write info on board, turn out lights and leave. Then they reappear with breakfast. By this time people are rumbling up and down the hall, calling to each other, doors are slamming and it must be time to get up. I get up and go get coffee and come back and try to get her to eat. Some days she scarfs it all down, some days she falls asleep with a piece of toast in her mouth. I think I need to take her home for a few days rest and then come back and resume medication.

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